My patented last-minute, garbage bag, pack for the airport trick

Last minute bag pack boastThis is good for when you want to squeeze every last drop out of your trip, when you’ve shanked, or some combination of the two.

What you’ll need:

• One large heavy duty garbage bag from custodian • One smaller strong plastic bag such as one from a Hudson News

What you’ll do:

• Order a taxi for 15 minutes before you expect to be ready. This way, the front desk will be bugging you every 5 minutes or so, and the pressure will make you move in double time. • Empty whatever’s in your luggage onto bed. • Make another pile of knick-knacks and shit you’ve acquired over the course of the trip and left around the room. All small items, plastics, non-fabric materials. Open every drawer and add overlooked items to one of the two piles.

• Throw all clothes in big bag • All non-clothes in smaller bag. • Grab them, grab your empty luggage and put all of these into the back seat of the taxi, not the trunk.

Now, take your time packing while riding to airport. You’ve got nothing to do with that time anyway.

NB: Do not attempt this trick if you are sharing the cab.

Your First Jean Jacket

buttons-redYou never forget your first jean jacket. Brand-new, rigid, navy, preferably Levi’s. Every single self-respecting American male teenager owned one of these from the 1970′s to the mid-1980′s. Buying your first denim jacket was a rite of passage. It was okay if your mom bought it for you, but it was not okay to buy a “vintage” jacket from a thrift store. You had to do the work yourself, and buying a pre-worn jacket was just cheating.

In a world where everyone was wearing nearly identical jean jackets, you had to find a way to express your individuality. This is where buttons came in. Adam Ant, David Bowie, English Beat, Talking Heads, or for the rebellious, perhaps the Sex Pistols, Misfits or Siouxsie and the Banshees. You could arrange the buttons in any creative way that you could think of– one side, both sides, different formations. But there was always a fine line between an acceptable abundance of buttons and crossing the line to “button guy”– you did not want to go there. Better yet, you could stand apart by wearing a Boast polo underneath with a drop tail showing in back.

In New York, your jean jacket marked you as an intrepid traveler along 8th St. in the West Village, where you would join your fellow denim wearers on a quest for “imports”, i.e., imported British records from overseas, the more obscure the better, with the illegally pirated copies the most prized. Postermat, Bleecker Bob’s, and Second Coming Records were mandatory stops along the route, as was It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll, where you could check out the rack of Dead bootleg cassettes before adjourning to the back of the store to play the Journey video game amidst the smoke emanating from the men’s room.

- Gray H., Team Boast

Best 80′s Honda Scooter Ad

adam ant grace jones honda 540
Grace slides into a medium close-up of Adam.

Adam Ant: I dunno, Grace
Grace Jones: Come on, Adam
Adam: I can’t
Grace: It’s easy

Honda Scooter revealed with a gliss bell sound effect. Adam and Grace face off at a dutch angle.

Adam: I’ve never ridden one
Grace: It’s quick
Adam: I’ve never ridden anything… ever
Grace: It’s fun
Scooter reveals pop-up headlight, flashes camera.
Adam: I don’t even drive
Announcer: Honda Scooters. They’re everything but ordinary.
Scooter, Grace, and Adam revealed in full.

Grace: It’s sexy
Adam: I’ll take it
Grace: I’ll take you!

Grace bites Adam’s earlobe.
[NB: Alternate version removes offending shot of interracial ear nibbling.]

Follow Adam Ant’s new tour at
I saw him this past October. This is his fourth comeback by my count. He crushed it.

The Indian Pass Raw Bar

The Indian Pass Raw Bar

Get this: you’re miles from the most pristine beach of Florida’s Forgotten Coast on an empty stretch of road, and you find yourself at a bar worth any detour. Housed in a converted gas station, The Indian Pass Raw Bar sits between Apalachicola and Port St Joe, in the Florida panhandle. Grab a cold beer from the cooler first and tell your server later, once you’ve found a table and a few plastic chairs. The oysters are plucked fresh from Apalachicola Bay just down the road. If it’s a game day you’d better be rooting for the Gators.

Hopefully you’ve just come from St. Joseph’s peninsula, often ranked in the top ten beaches in America, wherever such rankings can be found. The beach is six miles of nature preserve with one parking lot on the southern end. The further down the beach you hike the less likely you are to see another person.   The Indian Pass Raw Bar

Murder on the South Seas

And-the-sea will tellIn 1974, two couples choose the same deserted island for a extended romantic getaway from civilization. One, an experienced skipper and wife, well-stocked for a year’s stay. The other a small-time thief and flower child on the run and ill-prepared to live off the land. Only one couple will leave the island alive.

Highlights include sharks, love triangles, suspense, narrow escapes from the law, and, best yet, a dude so lazy he cuts down palm trees with a chainsaw rather than climb for coconuts.

From Wikipedia:
Vincent Bugliosi, best known for prosecuting Charles Manson is now defending a murder trial, and telling the tale of a couple who disappeared from a tropical island in 1974. The story picks up seven years after their disappearance, when a young woman visiting Palmyra found an odd aluminum container, apparently washed up out of the lagoon, and something glinting in the sand beside it: a gold tooth in a human skull.

Croydon Chicken Incident Addendum

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Date: November 5, 2012 7:05:29 PM EST

Subject: Cale with that John Elway look

On Nov 5, 2012, at 6:49 PM, JW wrote:
JW: See attached pic…. Or is that a sweater?
DJ: sick
DJ: did i tell you I designed his last LP cover?
JW: You did?! Whoa. Show me! Did I tell you I was a total, (typical) Velvet Underground fanatic in 8th grade? This site below has loads of Cale anecdotes. Did you know Lou Reed fired Cale at the Riviera Bar in The Village?! That one’s not mentioned. Nor is this one: while producing Squeeze’s first album, Cale encouraged them to change their band name to Five Gay Guys. True.

Anyway, the first time I tried to meet Lou Reed I slipped out of the final rehearsal for my Catholic confirmation to cross town for Tower Records’ signing event for New Sensations. When I saw the long line, I chickened out and ran back to the church. I had a rare pressing of White Light-White Heat for him to sign, hoping he would notice me. I’m not sure how he would have signed it with a Sharpie because the cover is solid black.

Hans Werksman’s John Cale blog: http://werksman.home.xs4all.nl/cale/bio/1977.html

The Croydon Chicken Incident

cale_home_big-fl_post_mediumJohn Cale was playing The Greyhound in Croydon, England. During Heartbreak Hotel a dead chicken was introduced on stage which Cale decapitated with a meat cleaver. Two of his bandmembers, both vegetarians, were not amused. They walked.

This stunt haunts him until this day, but he did not kill a chicken on stage. The roadie did. Backstage.

Cale:
“I am singing, ‘We could be so lonely,’ swinging the chicken around by its feet, nobody in the audience knowing it was dead, ‘we could be so –’ Twhok! I decapitated it and threw the body into the slam dancers at the front of the stage, and I threw the head past them. It landed in somebody’s Pimm’s.”

Apologies to Hans Werksman who wrote this concise account. Read this and everything you ever wanted to know about John Cale but were afraid to ask at Werksman’s John Cale blog:

Jaws 35th Anniversary Remaster

Benchley_Jaws_full_cover-largeI have a boner. This film may be top 10 all time. And don’t ever — EVER — forget Murray Hamilton as Mayor Larry Vaughn (“look, fellas, this is not the time to conduct some half-assed autopsy on a fish”). God I love Murray Hamilton. But I can’t even grasp the format of this “restoration” — what are we talking about? DVD?

There is tremendous documentary footage behind this film, that in my view has been stuck in legal flypaper for many years…it escaped for a moment and I saw something truly incredible on (I think) basic c
able about 5 years ago, like USA or AMC. Then it was just as quickly gone. Bob Shaw totally reamed Dreyfuss in what I saw — on location on the Vineyard, during shooting. It was precious, precious gold. And he appeared wasted. So I hope they have that. Whatever this is.

One drawback may be the shark puppet further stretching credibility due to higher resolution. Sort of like an HD closeup of the whiteheads on Cameron Diaz’s cheekbones. But I agree: top ten. The slow build to the initial panic on the beach through Roy Scheider’s eyes is worthy of the best of Hitchcock. And the introduction of Quinn is one of my all-time favorite scenes. I never knew the Murray Hamilton’s name. Thanks for that; he was great. Remind me of some other roles. Looking forward to the documentary. I feel like I’ve seen a bunch of it but sounds like they’ve pulled out all the stops from what I’ve read.

Never Closed

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Peter covers the small hour shift at Johnny White’s Sports Bar. Johnny White’s is a real night owl spot. In fact, the bar has never closed for a minute in the 20-plus years since opening. It can’t; the doors won’t lock. Even with armed police begging them to evacuate in Hurricane Katrina they would not close the door.

The sports bar moniker doesn’t quite fit. There’s one small flickering TV with rabbit ears up in a corner that patrons generally ignore unless there’s a Saints game on. But there is a fantastic faded mural featuring baseball stars of old, and a black and white shot of Mr. White in the Fifties, swinging a bat. Peter himself competes in a monthly full-tackle, come-as-you-are football game against other French Quarter bartenders on the street outside. Anyway, you’re likely not there at 6am to watch sports on TV.

Unfortunately the one thing Johnny White’s doesn’t have is matchbooks; they’re not big on self-promotion. This is a big disappointment, as they’d make a solid addition to any matchbook collection. Fortunately Peter is not one to turn down a request. Without a word he customized one on the spot with a nice replica of the bar’s insignia.

Peter of Johnny White’s. A generous spirit and a true Boast man.

Johnny White’s Sports Bar

Update:  They closed.  Dammit.

Update #2:  Johnny White’s has re-opened as a homogenized version of its former self.  Peter’s moved on.

Juice Man, Tennis Man, Fisherman, Boast Man

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Meet Melvin Major. Melvin manages one of the busiest and best juice bars in Manhattan. Choose from his menu, or just tell him what’s ailing you, and Melvin will hook you up. Melvin has a passion for fruit and health, but his constant chopping and blending doesn’t come close to tuckering him out. April through October, you’ll find him most evenings at Breezy Point, Great Kills, or Floyd Bennett Field, fishing for Stripers, Bluefish, and even Stingrays. Rays? In Brooklyn, Melvin? “Oh yes. It’s an unexpected hit, but when it do hit, you’re gonna be in trouble.”

When fishing season ends, Melvin’s tennis season begins. Doubles partners and opponents attest that his skills with a racquet match his talents with a blender. Melvin attributes his tennis skills to his youth in Hilton Head, SC and lots of court time. He wears the Boast classic pinstripe polo in Kelly green.

Melvin’s shown here behind the bar at Lifethyme on Sixth Avenue at 8th Street with his assistant Natalie Milligan. Pay him a visit and tell him Boast sent you.
Lifethyme Market

Update:  Melvin got poached by Greenwich Village hotspot Miss Lilly’s and now can be found at Melvin’s Juicebox.